[Sigia-l] Netiquette

[Donna Timara]

Boniface Lau <boniface_lau at compuserve.com> wrote:
> 
> > From: Brian Verhoeven
> >
> > tend to refute another poster's opinion/interpretation point by
> > point in a manner that, in this faceless medium, appear to be
> > personal attacks.
> 
> When what we've expressed are being challenged, it is easy for us to
> perceive the challenge as a form of personal attack when in fact it is
> just a difference of opinions. Thus, it is better to respond to the
> issue instead of the perceived personal attack.
> 

This is excellent, I never saw this ballancing act before on this forum. 

To add to Boniface's point, I will suggest that folks should look at
"Five Dysfunctions of a Team" by Patrick Lencioni. Teams are never
dysfunctional because team members raise questions on questions
itself. In fact this is catalyst for so many great debates on this
forum. Challenging each other's POV is one most important element
which we should encourage, NOT criticise. The most dysfunctional teams
are those which mostly agrees with each other, has highest levels of
respects for each others, or takes things personal when challenged...

Fall side of this method is that many a time the core of the issue get
lost, but most of the time it get's lost becuase the person who raised
the first question takes the attack personally. The real debate and
team work can only continue if we know how to separate "issue" from
"personal ego". The term "hugging the potty" applies to the person who
holds his POV so strongly that he can't see his POV being beaten down.

I have witnessed so many great questions/topic on this forum, which
never takes off. And there are many such examples where we will find
that they did not take off becuase nobody challenged them at the first
place. Some questions the way they are pitched are dysfunctional at
it's root. In all those situations, we should thank all those who play
devil's advocate to challenge the idea. Getting personal shouldn't be
the option, instead, we must realize that not being talked about is
the worst thing.

Open and healthy discussions are all about -- unregulated
conversation, challenging each other POV and maintaining focus on the
expected goals. If things can be achieved with peicefull means that is
good, but most of time main goals of the discussion is to look at
every POV, exhaust all the alternatives and deduce the vague question
into finer pieces. Learning about IA is just half learning if you
can't bear the pain of learning.

Amen.

:d