[Sigia-l] IAtiquette: how much do you challenge your client?

[Listera]

Lada Gorlenko:

> some may advise me to stick to the clients in the
> neighbourhood or move to downtown Manhattan.
> Neither is an option.

Hey, what's wrong with moving to the capital of the world? :-)

> How do you challenge/personalise opinion/fight back when working
> with clients you never meet in person?

This business of people hiding behind "any attack on my POV is an attack on
my person" for fear of uncharitable examination of their assertions is a
real one, and exacerbated by the impersonal nature of remote correspondence.
It's as real in daily business as it's here.

I have a few rules. :-) As observed from the concrete jungles of the island
you don't want to move to, the taxonomy of this phylum is as follows:

1.  People who just can't tolerate dissent, period. -> You're wasting your
time.

2.  People who just don't care for alternative views. They'd like an answer,
almost any answer along the lines of what they were expecting in their
comfort zone, anything else to them is a waste of time. -> If they are not
in the critical path, give them the 'answer' they are convinced they need
and move on.

3.  People who are sometimes stunned that on issues they long considered
settled there can possibly be dissenting POVs. -> If you have the time,
educate them. Some will get over the initial confusion, some will continue
to think you're a PITA.

4.  People who are uncomfortable that you can be passionate and have strong
opinions about something that they consider just work. -> Ask them to
indulge your enthusiasm in exchange for listening to stories about their
latest fishing trip or golf handicap.

5.  People who are, well, design/business bureaucrats. -> They are
hierarchical by nature so don't challenge them, try to get their bosses to
challenge them.

6.  People who don't know their own limitations. -> If there's time, let
them try and fail; make sure everyone knows they were given the
responsibility before they start.

7.  People who live to disagree with you. -> Strangely, they are not your
enemies: they care. You have to be patient and continue to engage and
educate. There's a tipping point where they realize the value they get
learning from you is greater than the effort it takes to automatically
disagree with you.

8.  People who automatically assign you/your POV to a section of the mental
map of the problem they have. -> You must first determine if the coordinates
of that map can be moved, in which case one of the above cases will become
operative. If not, attack the role they assigned you, not their own mental
map which requires far more work. Hopefully they'll reassign you/your POV to
a more appropriate coordinate.

And so on.

Ziya
Nullius in Verba